Lashon Hara: The Jewish Laws of Speech

“What I’m telling you isn’t lashon hara, it’s the truth.” The sentence is so common it has become comic, and yet it contains the very mistake that Jewish tradition has fought for three thousand years: believing that a remark is innocent because it is accurate. Lashon hara (“evil tongue,” literally) refers precisely to what we say that is true about another person when it can harm them. This article sets out what the Torah, the Talmud, Maimonides and the Chafetz Chaim say about it, distinguishes practical law from moral and mystical readings, and explains when it is permitted, and sometimes obligatory, to speak.

In short: lashon hara is any truthful statement that lowers a person in others’ eyes, or that may cause them harm, grief or fear; a disparaging falsehood, by contrast, is called motzi shem ra (“slander”), and carrying what one person said about another from one to the other is called rechilut. The prohibition is based on “You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people” (Vayikra [Leviticus] 19:16). It applies to the one who speaks, but also to the one who listens and accepts. It applies whether the person is present or absent, and there is a subtler “shade” of these offences (avak lashon hara, “the dust of lashon hara”) which Maimonides describes in detail (Mishneh Torah, Hilchot De’ot 7:1-6). But the law does not demand silence at all costs: it provides for cases in which one must speak in order to protect someone, subject to seven conditions that the Chafetz Chaim spelled out.

The terms: lashon hara, motzi shem ra, rechilut, avak

The texts distinguish several categories, and one has to know them to follow the discussion.

Lashon hara: speaking ill of someone, even if it is true. Maimonides: “It is one who speaks of the disgrace of his fellow, even if he tells the truth” (Hilchot De’ot 7:2).
Motzi shem ra: speaking ill falsely, with invented claims. This is a still graver offence, which has its own category in the Torah, regarding the man who falsely accuses his wife (Devarim [Deuteronomy] 22:13-19; Mishna Arachin 3:1).
Rechilut: going from one person to another reporting “so-and-so said this about you.” Even if true, “it destroys the world” (Hilchot De’ot 7:2).
Avak lashon hara, “the dust of lashon hara”: hints, half-words, and praise that provokes criticism. Maimonides’ example: praising someone in front of his enemies, because it will make them speak ill of him (Hilchot De’ot 7:4).
Ona’at devarim, the wrong done by words, such as a remark that reminds a penitent of his past misdeeds or reminds the child of converts of his parents’ origins (Mishna Bava Metzia 4:10; Vayikra 25:17).

“Who is a talebearer (rakhil)? One who carries words and goes from one person to another saying, ‘So-and-so said this,’ ‘I heard this about so-and-so.’ Even if it is true, he destroys the world. There is a far graver sin included in this prohibition: lashon hara, that is, speaking of the disgrace of one’s fellow, even if one tells the truth. But one who says something false is called a slanderer (motzi shem ra).”

(Rambam, Mishneh Torah, Hilchot De’ot 7:2) — אי זהו רכיל. זה שטוען דברים והולך מזה לזה ואומר כך אמר פלוני כך וכך שמעתי על פלוני. אף על פי שהוא אמת הרי זה מחריב את העולם. יש עון גדול מזה עד מאד והוא בכלל לאו זה והוא לשון הרע. והוא המספר בגנות חברו אף על פי שאומר אמת. אבל האומר שקר נקרא מוציא שם רע על חברו.

What the written Torah says

The prohibition of talebearing

The foundational text is found in the heart of the chapter on holiness: “You shall not go about as a talebearer (rakhil) among your people; you shall not stand idly by the blood of your neighbor. I am Hashem” (Vayikra 19:16). The exact meaning of the verb “to go about as a talebearer” (halakh rakhil) is debated, and the Sages derive from it the prohibition of lashon hara. Two points are worth noting. The next sentence forbids “hating your brother in your heart” and commands you to rebuke your neighbor (19:17), which shows the path to follow when you have a grievance: speak to him, not about him. And the end of verse 16, “you shall not stand idly by the blood of your neighbor,” is read in two ways: do not remain indifferent to his death, and do not kill him with your words. Maimonides makes the connection: the prohibition of talebearing is followed by “you shall not stand idly by the blood of your neighbor” because this offence “causes the death of many in Israel,” and he refers to the case of Doeg the Edomite (Hilchot De’ot 7:1), who informed Saul of David’s visit to the priest Ahimelech, which led to the slaughter of eighty-five priests (I Shemuel [Samuel] 22:9-18).

“You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people; you shall not stand idly by the blood of your neighbor. I am Hashem.”

(Vayikra 19:16) — לֹא־תֵלֵךְ רָכִיל בְּעַמֶּיךָ לֹא תַעֲמֹד עַל־דַּם רֵעֶךָ אֲנִי ה׳׃

Other verses are linked to the prohibition: “You shall not spread a false report” (Shemot [Exodus] 23:1), which the Talmud also reads as “you shall not receive (or: cause to be accepted) a false report” (Pesachim 118a); “You shall not wrong one another” (Vayikra 25:17), which also covers hurtful words (Bava Metzia 58b).

Miriam and the spies

Two foundational stories show how serious the offence is. In the first, Miriam and Aharon “spoke against Moshe” about the woman he had married (Bamidbar [Numbers] 12:1-2). Miriam is immediately struck with tzara’at, a skin affliction, and confined outside the camp for seven days; “the people did not journey on until Miriam was readmitted” (12:10; 12:14-15). The Torah makes this a duty of remembrance: “Remember what Hashem your G-d did to Miriam on the way, when you left Egypt” (Devarim 24:9). Maimonides infers that tzara’at (wrongly translated as “leprosy”) is a wondrous sign sent to warn against lashon hara, and that Miriam, who had not meant to belittle her brother but had compared him to the other prophets, should make us reflect: how much more so those who speak with contempt (Hilchot Tum’at Tzara’at 16:10). The Talmud says likewise: “This shall be the law of the metzora: the law of one who slanders (motzi shem ra)” (Arachin 15b, Resh Lakish, reading Vayikra 14:2).

In the second story, the spies sent to Canaan return and describe the land in discouraging terms; the Torah says that they “made the whole congregation murmur against him by spreading a bad report about the land,” and that “those who had spread the bad report about the land died by the plague, before Hashem” (Bamidbar 14:36-37). Rabbi Elazar ben Perata concludes: “Come and see how great is the power of lashon hara: if one who slanders wood and stones (the land of Israel) is punished thus, how much more one who slanders his fellow!” (Arachin 15a). Maimonides goes so far as to write: “The decree was sealed against our fathers in the wilderness only because of lashon hara” (Hilchot De’ot 7:6).

The Prophets and the Writings

The Psalms and Proverbs keep returning to the tongue. Psalm 34 asks the question that gives its title to the Chafetz Chaim’s great book: “Who is the man who desires life, who loves days of seeing good? Guard your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it” (Tehilim [Psalms] 34:13-15).

“Who is the man who desires life, who loves days of seeing good? Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.”

(Tehilim 34:13-15) — מִי־הָאִישׁ הֶחָפֵץ חַיִּים אֹהֵב יָמִים לִרְאוֹת טוֹב׃ נְצֹר לְשׁוֹנְךָ מֵרָע וּשְׂפָתֶיךָ מִדַּבֵּר מִרְמָה׃ סוּר מֵרָע וַעֲשֵׂה־טוֹב בַּקֵּשׁ שָׁלוֹם וְרׇדְפֵהוּ׃

Psalm 15 draws the portrait of the one who “walks with integrity”: “who has no slander on his tongue” (Tehilim 15:3). Psalm 120 compares the deceitful tongue to “a warrior’s sharp arrows, with coals of broom-wood” (Tehilim 120:4), and Yirmeyahu says: “Their tongue is a sharpened arrow, it speaks deceit; with his mouth one speaks peace to his neighbor, but in his heart he sets an ambush for him” (Yirmeyahu [Jeremiah] 9:7). Proverbs offers one saying after another: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Mishlei [Proverbs] 18:21); “Without wood the fire goes out; without a talebearer, strife subsides” (Mishlei 26:20); “He who covers over a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends” (Mishlei 17:9); “A healing tongue is a tree of life” (Mishlei 15:4); “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue guards his soul from troubles” (Mishlei 21:23).

A verse in Kohelet (Ecclesiastes) is read by the Talmud as an allusion to lashon hara: “If the snake bites before it is charmed, there is no advantage to the master of the tongue” (Kohelet 10:11). Resh Lakish explains: in the World to Come, all the animals will go to the snake and say to it: the lion tears and eats, the wolf tears and eats, but you, what pleasure do you find in biting? “There is no advantage to the master of the tongue,” it replies (Ta’anit 8a). The talebearer is like that snake: he bites and gains nothing by it.

The Talmud: “the tongue that kills three”

Tractate Arachin

The core of the Talmudic reflection on lashon hara is found in tractate Arachin (15a-16b), in connection with the law of the slanderer. Its statements are among the harshest in all rabbinic literature:

“Lashon hara kills three people: the one who says it, the one who accepts it, and the one it is told about” (Arachin 15b, a saying quoted “in the West,” that is, in the land of Israel).
“Whoever speaks lashon hara, the Holy One, blessed be He, says: he and I cannot dwell together in the world,” a reading of the verse “He who slanders his neighbor in secret, I will destroy; one with haughty eyes and an arrogant heart, I cannot endure” (Tehilim 101:5), reading “oto lo uchal” (“I cannot endure him”) as “ito lo uchal” (“with him I cannot”), that is: I cannot dwell with him (Arachin 15b).
Lashon hara is as great as the three cardinal sins: idolatry, forbidden relations and murder (Arachin 15b, school of Rabbi Yishmael).
Afflictions of tzara’at come for seven offences, lashon hara being the first (Arachin 16a).

“In the West (the land of Israel) they say: speech about a third party kills three: the one who says it, the one who accepts it, and the one it is said about. Rabbi Chama bar Chanina said: what is meant by the verse ‘Death and life are in the power of the tongue’? Does the tongue have a hand? It comes to tell you: just as the hand kills, so the tongue kills. If it were like the hand, which kills only up close, would the tongue kill only up close? The verse says: ‘Their tongue is a sharpened arrow.'”

(Arachin 15b) — במערבא אמרי: לשון תליתאי קטיל תליתאי, הורג למספרו, ולמקבלו, ולאומרין עליו. אמר רבי חמא ברבי חנינא: מאי דכתיב ״מות וחיים ביד לשון״, וכי יש יד ללשון? לומר לך: מה יד ממיתה — אף לשון ממיתה. אי מה יד אינה ממיתה אלא בסמוך לה — אף לשון אינה ממיתה אלא בסמוך לה? תלמוד לומר: ״חץ שחוט לשונם״.

The Talmud continues: the tongue is like an arrow, but an arrow carries only forty or fifty cubits, whereas the tongue goes much further: “they have set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue strolls through the earth” (Tehilim 73:9). And it gives the remedy: “Rabbi Chama bar Chanina said: what is the cure for those who speak lashon hara? If he is a scholar, let him study Torah (‘a healing tongue is a tree of life’); if he is an ignoramus, let him humble himself” (Arachin 15b, citing Mishlei 15:4). The Talmud also notes that Rava draws from “death and life are in the power of the tongue”: “whoever wants life, it is through his tongue; whoever wants death, it is through his tongue” (Arachin 15b).

Other passages

One who speaks lashon hara, one who accepts it, and one who gives false testimony against his neighbor, “it is fitting to throw them to the dogs” (Pesachim 118a, Rav Sheshet in the name of Rabbi Elazar ben Azarya): a deliberately extreme expression that conveys the gravity of the offence.
Four categories of people do not receive the Divine Presence: scoffers, flatterers, liars and those who speak lashon hara (Sotah 42a, Rabbi Yirmeya bar Abba).
“All people fall into the sin of ‘avak lashon hara'” (Bava Batra 165a, Rav): the dust of lashon hara is so widespread that Rav says everyone gets caught by it.
Among those who descend to Gehinnom and do not come back up, the Talmud counts “one who causes his neighbor’s face to go pale in public” and “one who gives his neighbor a contemptuous nickname” (Bava Metzia 58b). The Mishna in Pirkei Avot says the same: “one who shames his neighbor in public has no share in the World to Come” (Pirkei Avot 3:11).
The prayer of Mar, son of Ravina, at the end of his Amida, has become the one still said at the end of every Amida: “My G-d, guard my tongue from evil and my lips from speaking deceit” (Berakhot 17a).

“My G-d, guard my tongue from evil and my lips from speaking deceit; to those who curse me, let my soul be silent, and let my soul be like dust to all.”

(Berakhot 17a) — אלהי, נצור לשוני מרע ושפתותי מדבר מרמה, ולמקללי נפשי תדום, ונפשי כעפר לכל תהיה.

The Mishna of the Fathers (Pirkei Avot) adds a wisdom of silence: Shimon, son of Rabban Gamliel: “All my days I grew up among the Sages and I have found nothing better for the body than silence (…) and whoever multiplies words brings sin” (Pirkei Avot 1:17); Rabbi Akiva: “A fence for wisdom: silence” (Pirkei Avot 3:13); Avtalyon: “Sages, be careful with your words” (Pirkei Avot 1:11).

One sentence of the Talmud sums up the spirit: “The world endures only because of the one who holds himself back (bolem) during a quarrel,” a reading of the verse “He hangs the earth upon nothing (belima)” (Chullin 89a, Rabbi Ila’a).

A wooden arrow lying on a stone table next to a small lit lamp

Maimonides: the code of lashon hara

The Rambam devotes chapter 7 of his Laws of Character Traits (Hilchot De’ot), in the Mishneh Torah, to the laws of speech. There he distinguishes rechilut, lashon hara and avak lashon hara, recalls the Talmud’s sayings (“lashon hara is equal to the three cardinal sins,” “it kills three people,” “the one who listens is worse than the one who speaks”) and lays down concrete rules:

“The Sages said: three sins are punished in this world, and the person has no share in the World to Come: idolatry, forbidden relations and murder. And lashon hara is equal to all of them. They also said: lashon hara kills three: the one who says it, the one who accepts it, and the one it is said about; and the one who accepts it is more guilty than the one who says it.”

(Rambam, Hilchot De’ot 7:3) — אמרו חכמים שלש עברות נפרעין מן האדם בעולם הזה ואין לו חלק לעולם הבא. עבודת כוכבים וגלוי עריות ושפיכות דמים. ולשון הרע כנגד כלם. ועוד אמרו חכמים שלשה לשון הרע הורגת. האומרו. והמקבלו. וזה שאומר עליו. והמקבלו יותר מן האומרו.

Concretely, Maimonides lists the subtle forms: the hint (“who will tell so-and-so to carry on as he does?”), praise in front of his enemies, lashon hara said in jest (“I’m only joking,” citing Mishlei 26:18-19), and “innocent” lashon hara where one pretends not to know it is wrong (7:4). He specifies that the prohibition holds whether one speaks in the person’s presence or not, and for any statement which, repeated, could harm another’s body or property, or even only distress or frighten him (7:5). He adds a disputed rule: if the words were spoken in front of three people, they are already “known,” and one of the three may repeat them without lashon hara, provided he does not intend to spread the rumor (7:5). This rule is debated among the halachic authorities; do not rely on it without asking a rabbi. Finally, he judges that such people are of a kind that “it is forbidden to live in their neighborhood, much less to sit with them and listen to their talk” (7:6).

The Chafetz Chaim: a book for a daily offence

Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan (born in 1838, according to the most commonly given date, died in 1933 in Radin, today in Belarus) is known by the title of his first book, the Chafetz Chaim (“He who desires life,” Tehilim 34:13), published in 1873. The Midrash tells the origin of the verse: a peddler was calling out in the villages near Tzippori: “Who wants to buy the elixir of life?” Rabbi Yannai calls him over, and the peddler shows him Psalm 34: “Who is the man who desires life? (…) Guard your tongue from evil” (Vayikra Rabba 16:2). He then wrote Shmirat HaLashon (1876), and later the great commentary on daily law, the Mishna Berura (1884-1907). He also founded the yeshiva of Radin.

His innovation was to treat lashon hara as a code of laws, with detailed cases. In the introduction, he counts the commandments transgressed by one who speaks lashon hara: seventeen prohibitions, fourteen positive commandments, and several curses (Chafetz Chaim, Introduction: Prohibitions, Positive Commandments, Curses). The work is then divided into two parts: ten rules (klalim) on lashon hara, nine on rechilut. He shows, from the introduction on, that the prohibition applies to the listener too: “the one who speaks and the one who receives both transgress” the verse “you shall not spread a false report” (Shemot 23:1, also read as “you shall not receive a false report”).

When is it permitted, even obligatory, to speak?

The prohibition does not mean smothering legitimate complaints. The Torah itself commands us not to stand idly by when another’s life is at stake (“you shall not stand idly by the blood of your neighbor,” Vayikra 19:16), and the tradition admits several cases: testifying before a court, warning someone of a real danger, reporting a wrong in order to help the victim. The Chafetz Chaim devotes detailed rules to these situations; for the case of someone who has seen a wrong committed against another, he sets out seven precise conditions (part 1, rule 10). Let us summarize them:

1. Having seen the facts with one’s own eyes (or having had clear proof), without relying on a rumor. 2. Making sure that it really is a wrong in the legal sense, without jumping to conclusions. 3. Having first rebuked the offender, gently, in the hope that he will amend his ways; speaking only if he does not listen. 4. Not exaggerating the wrong. 5. Intending to help, and not to profit from the discredit or to satisfy an old grudge. 6. If the same result can be achieved without revealing the offence, it is forbidden to reveal it. 7. Not causing the person more harm than a court would inflict on him.

“That he see the matter himself, and not by hearsay (…); that he first rebuke the wrongdoer, gently, perhaps he will listen; that he not magnify the wrong; that he aim at a constructive purpose and not, G-d forbid, at profiting from the fault he attributes to him, nor out of hatred; if that result can be achieved some other way, it is in any case forbidden to tell; that he not cause the accused more damage than the law would inflict.”

(Chafetz Chaim, Hilchot Lashon Hara, rule 10:1) — שֶׁיִּרְאֶה זֶה הַדָּבָר בְּעַצְמוֹ, וְלֹא עַל יְדֵי שְׁמִיעָה מֵאֲחֵרִים (…) שֶׁיּוֹכִיחַ אֶת הַחוֹטֵא מִתְּחִלָּה וּבְלָשׁוֹן רַכָּה, אוּלַי יוּכַל לְהוֹעִיל לוֹ (…) שֶׁלֹּא יַגְדִּיל הָעַוְלָה יוֹתֵר מִמַּה שֶּׁהִיא (…) שֶׁיְּכַוֵּן לְתוֹעֶלֶת (…) וְלֹא מִצַּד שִׂנְאָה.

This framework is demanding. It permits neither hallway conversations, nor “warnings” between neighbors, nor comments on social media: each of these occasions fails at least one condition (firsthand observation, prior rebuke, no exaggeration, purity of intention). Practice is delicate, and anyone facing a real question (for example, information to be given before a marriage or a hiring) should consult a competent rabbi before speaking.

Halacha, ethics, mysticism: three readings to keep apart

Halacha (practical law) gives the definitions, the limits, the exceptions. It concerns the act: what it is forbidden to say, to listen to, to believe. Its sources are the Torah (Vayikra 19:16), the Talmud (Arachin), Maimonides (De’ot 7) and the Chafetz Chaim. The texts are shared by all communities; the nuances (the rule of the “three people,” the breadth of avak) vary among the halachic authorities.

Aggada and mussar (the moral reading) look for meaning. Speech is a force: “death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Mishlei 18:21). It reaches three people at once and travels farther than we think (Arachin 15b). Mussar also seeks the root: lashon hara is born of pride (“one with haughty eyes,” Tehilim 101:5), of envy or of baseless hatred. This is what the Talmud says in Yoma 9b: the Second Temple, despite Torah study, mitzvot and acts of kindness, was destroyed because of “baseless hatred,” which “is equal to the three cardinal sins.”

Mysticism sees in speech a creative force. The Sefer Yetzira, an ancient text of the mystical tradition, links speech and circumcision: a “single covenant” is established at the center of the ten sefirot, “like the word of the tongue (kemilat halashon) and like the circumcision (kemilat ma’or)” (Sefer Yetzira 1:3), a play on the words milat (“word”) and milat (“circumcision”). If speech belongs to the order of the covenant, to profane it is an offence of a different dimension from a lack of manners. This is a kabbalistic reading, not a practical rule, and we cite it as such.

A little history

Jewish history offers three illustrations of the destructive force of speech. First, Doeg the Edomite: by reporting to Saul that David had been received by the priest Ahimelech (I Shemuel 22:9-10), he set off the massacre of the town of Nov (22:18-19); Maimonides cites this case to show that speech can kill (Hilchot De’ot 7:1). Then the spies, whose bad report delayed the entry into the Land of Israel by forty years (Bamidbar 14:36-37).

The third is the episode of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza (Gittin 55b-56a), in which the Talmud sees one of the causes of the destruction of Jerusalem. A man holds a banquet and sends his servant to invite his friend Kamtza; the servant makes a mistake and invites Bar Kamtza, his enemy. The host notices him and wants to throw him out; Bar Kamtza offers to pay for his meal, then for half the banquet, then for all of it. He is thrown out, in front of the Sages, who say nothing. Humiliated, he goes to denounce the Jews to the Roman emperor as rebels; on the way, he inflicts on the animal intended for the Temple a blemish that makes it unfit as a sacrifice for the Jews, but not for the Romans. The Sages refuse the offering and war follows. Rabbi Yochanan concludes: “Jerusalem was destroyed because of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza” (Gittin 55b). The first cause is a public humiliation, the second a denunciation. The Talmud, moreover, repeats that the Second Temple was destroyed because of baseless hatred (Yoma 9b).

Closer to our own time, the Chafetz Chaim wrote for a world of villages and letters; he did not know social media. His principles, it is written today, apply also to messages, emails and posts: speech that spreads travels farther than the arrow of the tongue. This extension is a contemporary application of the principles, not a text of the Chafetz Chaim himself, and particular cases are to be brought to a rabbi.

What Rav Raphaël Benizri teaches

Rav Raphaël Benizri has not devoted a lecture to the laws of lashon hara, but several of his teachings touch on speech; what follows relies solely on his published lectures.

Kamtza and Bar Kamtza: wounded speech. In his lecture on the origin of the destruction of the Temple, the Rav reads the names themselves: kometz is the handful, and Kamtza is the man withdrawn into his small circle, for whom anyone who does not think as he does cannot enter. The expelled man, Bar Kamtza, was precisely asking for openness, offering to pay everything so that people not exclude one another despite their disagreements. For the Rav, the real scandal is the silence of the Sages present: they were invited and did not want to displease. He cites the Maharal of Prague on the blemish inflicted on the animal: the eye represents chochma, the way of seeing the world, and the lip, expression, the way of saying it. What was wounded was our shared vision and our shared speech. His conclusion: what decided the exile was baseless hatred pushed to the limit between the factions of the people (Tisha B’Av: the origin of the destruction).

Freeing speech. In his lecture on the Haggadah, the Rav starts from the word Pesach, broken down into peh sach, “a mouth that speaks”: the first liberation is that of language. Pharaoh also had a language, but a closed one, incapable of evolving: peh sach ra, “an evil mouth.” What distinguishes the two is not speech but openness. He distinguishes three verbs: vayomer, speaking to oneself; vayedaber, speaking to the other without necessarily sharing his point of view; higud, uniting. Liberated language must bring people closer, not put up barriers (Pesach: Peh-Sach, the mouth that speaks).

Slander in David’s eleven principles. In the introduction to Mishlei (Proverbs), the Rav relates the teaching of Rabbi Simlai (Makkot 23b-24a), which reduces the 613 mitzvot to eleven principles in Psalm 15, then to six, three, two and finally one among the prophets. Among David’s eleven principles: “he who has no slander on his tongue” (Mishlei: introduction to the Book of Proverbs).

Not laying everything out. In the lecture on Yose ben Yochanan (“do not talk too much with the woman,” Pirkei Avot 1:5), the Rav reads the warning as a call for restraint in conversation: people mock, tell all sorts of things; and there are, he says, chapters that are better left closed, because telling them stirs up self-regard and feeds quarrels (Pirkei Avot: let your house be open).

Common misconceptions about lashon hara

“That’s not lashon hara, it’s true.” That is the very definition of lashon hara: “speaking of the disgrace of one’s fellow, even if one tells the truth” (Rambam, Hilchot De’ot 7:2). What is false is called motzi shem ra, and it is worse.

“It’s no big deal if I’m only listening.” The listener is also targeted: “the tongue kills three,” including the one who accepts it (Arachin 15b), and Maimonides says that “the one who accepts it is more guilty than the one who says it” (Hilchot De’ot 7:3). The listener can at least walk away, or not believe it.

“If I say it in front of him, it’s fine.” No: “whether one speaks in his presence or not” (Rambam, De’ot 7:5). Telling someone to his face that he is incompetent is ona’at devarim, a verbal wrong (Bava Metzia 58b), and it can be worse.

“One should never say anything negative about anyone.” False: the Torah also requires us not to stand by indifferent (Vayikra 19:16), and the Chafetz Chaim details seven conditions under which it is permitted, sometimes obligatory, to speak (rule 10).

“It’s a minor offence, everyone does it.” The Talmud says almost the same thing, but to sound the alarm: “all fall into avak lashon hara” (Bava Batra 165a), and yet it ranks it with idolatry, forbidden relations and murder (Arachin 15b; Rambam, De’ot 7:3).

“Praise can’t be lashon hara.” It can: to praise someone in front of his enemies is to give them the occasion to criticize him (Rambam, De’ot 7:4).

Frequently asked questions about lashon hara

What is the difference between lashon hara and rechilut?

Lashon hara is speaking ill of someone (even if true). Rechilut is reporting to someone what another said about him, or going from one person to another with words that sow discord (Rambam, De’ot 7:2; Chafetz Chaim, part 2).

Is it lashon hara to tell the truth in court?

No: testifying before a court is among the cases in which one must speak, when one has seen the facts. The prohibition does not concern the testimony, but spreading the information outside the framework in which it serves justice. For legal proceedings, consult a rabbi or a rabbinical court.

May one warn someone of a danger?

Yes, and it is even a duty when real harm threatens (“you shall not stand idly by the blood of your neighbor,” Vayikra 19:16). But speech is bounded: one checks the facts, does not exaggerate, has a pure intention, and says only what is necessary (this is the spirit of the Chafetz Chaim’s conditions, part 1, rule 10). For a concrete case (a hiring, a partnership, a marriage), seek a rabbi’s advice.

Does social media change the rules?

The rules are the same, but the effect is multiplied: a published sentence reaches people one would never have approached, and it does not fade. The Talmud’s image is illuminating: the tongue is an arrow that carries farther than forty or fifty cubits (Arachin 15b). For concrete situations, ask a rabbi.

What should one do after speaking lashon hara?

The tradition asks us to acknowledge the offence, ask forgiveness of the person wronged, and commit not to repeat it: Yom Kippur does not wipe away wrongs against others until one has appeased the person (Mishna Yoma 8:9). The Amida prayer, “My G-d, guard my tongue from evil” (Berakhot 17a), is said every day at the end of the prayer. The Talmud also proposes a remedy: Torah study for the scholar, humility for the rest (Arachin 15b). For concrete cases of making amends, consult a rabbi.

Why was Miriam struck for so little?

The text says she spoke “against Moshe” (Bamidbar 12:1). Maimonides draws a lesson: Miriam, older than Moshe, had raised him and risked her life to save him; she had not belittled him but had only been wrong to compare him to the other prophets. If even she was struck, what of those who speak lightly (Hilchot Tum’at Tzara’at 16:10)!

What Is Lashon Hara? The Jewish Laws of Speech