Get: How Does Jewish Divorce Work?

A document of twelve lines, handwritten by a scribe, placed by a husband into his wife’s palm in front of witnesses and a rabbinic court: this is the get, the Jewish bill of divorce. Why is a document needed, and not just a civil judgment? Who can request it, who must consent, and what happens when one of the two refuses? This article answers from the Torah, the Mishna, the Talmud, Maimonides and the Shulchan Aruch, distinguishing what is halachah (the law as practiced), what is moral or mystical reading, and what belongs to history.

In short: the get (in Hebrew, “document of severance,” sefer keritut) is a document written for this specific wife, which the husband or his agent places in the woman’s hand in the presence of witnesses; it is what dissolves a religious marriage, apart from the death of one of the spouses (Mishna Kiddushin 1:1; Rambam, Hilchot Gerushin 1:1). According to the Torah, the husband divorces of his own free will and the wife may be divorced whether willingly or not; but since Rabbeinu Gershom (around the year 1000), Ashkenazic communities, and many Sephardic communities, no longer divorce a wife against her will. A civil divorce does not replace the get. When a spouse refuses to cooperate, the rabbinic court (beit din) may, in certain cases, compel the husband to give the get: this is the ground of the tragedy of the agunot, the “chained women,” which this article will not evade.

What is a get?

The word get (גט) is a Talmudic term designating a written legal instrument; in everyday usage, it came to designate the bill of divorce, to the point that the tractate of the Mishna and the Talmud devoted to it is simply called Gittin, “the documents.” The Torah itself speaks of a sefer keritut, literally a “book of severance” (Devarim [Deuteronomy] 24:1), because the document severs the bond between the spouses. The prophet uses the same expression: “Where is the bill of divorce (sefer keritut) of your mother, whom I sent away?” (Yeshayahu [Isaiah] 50:1).

In the law of the Mishna, a woman “acquires herself” in only two ways: the get or the death of her husband (Mishna Kiddushin 1:1). Rambam (Maimonides) lays down the rule unambiguously:

“A woman is divorced only by a document that reaches her; this document is called a get.”

(Rambam, Hilchot Gerushin 1:1) — אֵין הָאִשָּׁה מִתְגָּרֶשֶׁת אֶלָּא בִּכְתָב שֶׁיַּגִּיעַ לָהּ וּכְתָב זֶה הוּא הַנִּקְרָא גֵּט

What are the practical consequences? A couple married according to Jewish law (through kiddushin, see Jewish marriage) remains married in the eyes of halachah until a valid get has been delivered, even if a civil court has pronounced the divorce. The reverse is also true: the get has no civil effect. The two procedures are therefore independent.

Why a document? Maimonides gives a common-sense reason: if divorce were effected by word of mouth, a woman could claim after the fact to have been divorced, and adultery would hide behind an imaginary divorce; the document serves as proof (Guide for the Perplexed III:49).

What the Torah says

The foundational text fits in four verses, in chapter 24 of Devarim (Deuteronomy). It does not read like a commandment to divorce. It is a conditional law (“if… then”), which describes an existing situation in order to draw a consequence from it:

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found in her something unseemly (ervat davar), he shall write her a bill of divorce, place it in her hand and send her out of his house.”

(Devarim 24:1) — כִּי־יִקַּח אִישׁ אִשָּׁה וּבְעָלָהּ וְהָיָה אִם־לֹא תִמְצָא־חֵן בְּעֵינָיו כִּי־מָצָא בָהּ עֶרְוַת דָּבָר וְכָתַב לָהּ סֵפֶר כְּרִיתֻת וְנָתַן בְּיָדָהּ וְשִׁלְּחָהּ מִבֵּיתוֹ׃

The following verses consider what comes next: the woman, once she has left, “becomes another man’s wife” (24:2); if this second husband comes to dislike her, gives her a bill of divorce or dies, “her first husband, who sent her away, may not take her again as his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before Hashem” (24:3-4). The Torah thus permits the divorced woman to remarry from verse 2 on (this is what the formula of the get proclaims: “you are permitted to any man”); only one prohibition is attached to her here: returning to her first husband after a second marriage.

Elsewhere, the Torah forbids a kohen (priest) to marry a divorced woman: “They shall not take a woman who is a harlot or defiled, nor a woman divorced from her husband, for he is holy to his G-d” (Vayikra [Leviticus] 21:7; see also 21:14). This particular restriction, which concerns the sanctity of the priestly line, says nothing against the divorced woman herself.

The Prophets use the get as an image. Yirmeyahu (Jeremiah) describes the rupture between G-d and the kingdom of Israel in terms of divorce: “I had sent her away and given her her bill of divorce” (Yirmeyahu 3:8). Yeshayahu (Isaiah), on the contrary, denies that G-d ever broke with His people: “Where is the bill of divorce of your mother?” (Yeshayahu 50:1); Rav Benizri dwells on this (see below). Finally, Malachi reproaches men for betraying “the wife of [their] youth” and adds: “For I hate sending away, says Hashem, G-d of Israel” (2:14-16); the meaning of this phrase is debated, as the Talmud shows.

The Sages: a regulated right, never encouraged

What does “something unseemly” (ervat davar) mean? The Mishna reports a famous controversy, at the end of tractate Gittin:

“Beit Shammai say: a man may divorce his wife only if he has found in her a matter of nakedness (davar ervah), for it is said: ‘because he has found in her something unseemly.’ Beit Hillel say: even if she let his dish burn, for it is said: ‘because he has found in her something unseemly.’ Rabbi Akiva says: even if he found another woman more beautiful than she, for it is said: ‘and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes.'”

(Mishna Gittin 9:10) — בֵּית שַׁמַּאי אוֹמְרִים, לֹא יְגָרֵשׁ אָדָם אֶת אִשְׁתּוֹ אֶלָּא אִם כֵּן מָצָא בָהּ דְּבַר עֶרְוָה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר, כִּי מָצָא בָהּ עֶרְוַת דָּבָר. וּבֵית הִלֵּל אוֹמְרִים, אֲפִלּוּ הִקְדִּיחָה תַבְשִׁילוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר, כִּי מָצָא בָהּ עֶרְוַת דָּבָר. רַבִּי עֲקִיבָא אוֹמֵר, אֲפִלּוּ מָצָא אַחֶרֶת נָאָה הֵימֶנָּה, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר, וְהָיָה אִם לֹא תִמְצָא חֵן בְּעֵינָיו

This text is sometimes cited to say that the husband could dismiss his wife for anything at all. It is in fact a discussion about the grounds the Torah admits; the Gemara (Gittin 90a-b) argues over every word of the verse without making it an encouragement.

Conversely, the Talmud contains one of the strongest moral warnings in the tradition. Rabbi Elazar states there:

“Whoever divorces his first wife, even the altar sheds tears over him, as it is said: ‘And this is the second thing you do: you cover the altar of Hashem with tears, with weeping and sighing, so that He no longer turns to the offering (…). And you say: why? Because Hashem was witness between you and the wife of your youth, whom you have betrayed, though she is your companion and the wife of your covenant.'”

(Gittin 90b, citing Malachi 2:13-14) — כׇּל הַמְגָרֵשׁ אִשְׁתּוֹ רִאשׁוֹנָה – אֲפִילּוּ מִזְבֵּחַ מוֹרִיד עָלָיו דְּמָעוֹת, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ״וְזֹאת שֵׁנִית תַּעֲשׂוּ, כַּסּוֹת דִּמְעָה אֶת מִזְבַּח ה׳, בְּכִי וַאֲנָקָה מֵאֵין עוֹד פְּנוֹת אֶל הַמִּנְחָה, וְלָקַחַת רָצוֹן מִיֶּדְכֶם. וַאֲמַרְתֶּם: עַל מָה? עַל כִּי ה׳ הֵעִיד בֵּינְךָ וּבֵין אֵשֶׁת נְעוּרֶיךָ, אֲשֶׁר אַתָּה בָּגַדְתָּה בָּהּ, וְהִיא חֲבֶרְתְּךָ וְאֵשֶׁת בְּרִיתֶךָ

This statement is aggadah (moral reading), not a rule of procedure; but the Gemara draws a distinction from it: Rabbi Yehudah reads the end of Malachi 2:16 as “if you hate her, send her away”; Rabbi Yochanan, as “the one who sends away is hated.” The first speaks of a second marriage, the second of a first marriage (Gittin 90b). Rambam makes of it a counsel of prudence: “It is not fitting to hasten to divorce one’s first wife” (Hilchot Gerushin 10:21). The law thus grants divorce, morality asks that it be held back, and the Torah demands that, in case of separation, the woman be released in a precise form.

It must be said: in biblical and Talmudic law, it is the husband who gives the get and the wife who receives it. Successive corrective measures, from the Mishna to our own day, have sought to protect the wife.

A written document, delivered by hand: the basic rules

Rambam lists ten requirements, which according to him come from the Torah itself: the husband divorces of his own free will; he does so in writing and not otherwise; the document must say that he sends her away and detaches her from himself; it must “sever” between them; it must be written for her (lishmah); nothing must remain to be done after its writing except its delivery; the husband delivers it to her; in front of witnesses; as a bill of divorce; and it is the husband or his agent who gives it to her. The date and the signature of the witnesses, for their part, are by the law of the Sages (Hilchot Gerushin 1:1). Among these ten points, three deserve explanation.

Consent: his alone, not hers

Rambam deduces from the expression “and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes” that the husband divorces “according to his will,” and that a get given against his will is void (apart from cases of legitimate compulsion, see below):

“But a woman may be divorced whether willingly or against her will.”

(Rambam, Hilchot Gerushin 1:2) — אֲבָל הָאִשָּׁה מִתְגָּרֶשֶׁת בִּרְצוֹנָהּ וְשֶׁלֹּא בִּרְצוֹנָהּ

This is the law of the Torah; Rabbeinu Gershom tempered its effect (see below).

A document written “for her”

The get must be written for this wife and this husband: if the scribe drafted it without knowing for whom it would be intended, the document is void. A man who hears scribes dictating to their students “so-and-so divorces so-and-so” and would like to use that document for his own wife may not do so, because it was not written for her (Mishna Gittin 3:1). One may write with any durable ink, but not with a liquid that fades (Mishna Gittin 2:3).

The formula that releases

What must the document say, at a minimum? The Mishna indicates it:

“The essence of the get is: ‘Behold, you are permitted to any man.'”

(Mishna Gittin 9:3) — גּוּפוֹ שֶׁל גֵּט, הֲרֵי אַתְּ מֻתֶּרֶת לְכָל אָדָם

Rabbi Yehudah adds a formula in Aramaic: “This shall be for you, from me, a document of dismissal, a letter of release and a bill of freedom, so that you may go and marry any man you wish” (Mishna Gittin 9:3). This is the heart of the get: it restores to the woman her freedom to remarry. The rest (date, names, place, signatures) aims to prove that she is indeed free.

The Mishna even provides safeguards for the wife in case of formal error. Three documents are invalid from the outset (a document written in the husband’s hand without witnesses; a document with witnesses but without a date; a dated document, but signed by only one witness), “but if she remarries, the child is fit”: the Mishna refuses to punish the child for a procedural error (Mishna Gittin 9:4). Rabbi Elazar goes further: even without signatures, the document is valid if the husband delivered it in the presence of witnesses, for the witnesses sign the get only “for the betterment of the world” (mipnei tikkun ha’olam) (Mishna Gittin 9:4).

How a get takes place today

Details vary from one court to another, but the general course is everywhere inspired by the Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer, chapters 119 to 154 (the Rema adds Ashkenazic custom there). Here are the steps, with their sources.

1. The file before the beit din. The court verifies the identity of the spouses and the absence of any obstacle, then ensures that the husband is acting of his own free will (or, if there is legal compulsion, that it is regular). An attempt at reconciliation is usually made at this stage; this is the general practice, not a formal rule of the Shulchan Aruch. 2. The writing. The husband commissions a specialized scribe (sofer) to write the document. The text must be dictated by the husband himself or by his agent: “The scribe does not write and the witnesses do not sign until the husband has told them to write and to sign” (Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 120:4). Because the document must belong to the husband, the custom is for the scribe to give him the parchment and the ink as a gift before the writing (Even HaEzer 120:1). 3. The form. The get may be written in any script and any language, but not half in one and half in the other; custom has settled on Aramaic in square script, with a few Hebrew words (Even HaEzer 126:1). One custom is to write it in twelve lines (Even HaEzer 125:11). 4. The witnesses. Two fit witnesses, not related to the parties, sign. The names of the spouses (with those of their fathers), the place and the date are written with extreme meticulousness. 5. The delivery. The husband, or his agent, must say to the wife, as he hands her the document: “Here is your get” (hare zeh gitech) (Even HaEzer 136:1). Ashkenazic custom has him fold the get like a letter so that she can take all of it in her hand (Rema, Even HaEzer 136:1). The wife holds out both open hands, with nothing in them (no ring), receives the get, closes her hands and tucks it under her clothing, without anyone helping her to receive it (Rema, Even HaEzer 139:14). It is at this moment that the bond is cut. Ideally, the document must be neither thrown into her courtyard nor placed in her clothing: it must reach her in her very hand (Even HaEzer 139:14). 6. After the delivery. According to custom, the court forbids, on pain of excommunication (cherem), spreading the slightest suspicion about the document (Even HaEzer 154:22), then cancels it by tearing it so that it can no longer be used (Even HaEzer 125:20). 7. The waiting period. The divorced woman may not remarry before waiting three months (“90 days”) from the get, so that a possible pregnancy does not make the paternity of an unborn child uncertain (Mishna Yevamot 4:10; Even HaEzer 13:1). The Shulchan Aruch counts this period from the day the document was written; the Rema reports the opinion of those who count it from the day of delivery, and considers it good to conform to it (Even HaEzer 13:1).

Personal presence is not always required: both the man and the woman may appoint an agent (shaliach), to give or to receive (Even HaEzer 141:1); the Mishna already provides for the agent who brings the get from abroad: “it was written in my presence and signed in my presence” (Mishna Gittin 1:1).

Two hands, one holding out a folded sheet, the other open to receive it, against a dark background

The wife’s consent: the decree of Rabbeinu Gershom

The principle of the Torah, as we have seen, is asymmetrical: divorce is the husband’s decision. Around the year 1000, Rabbeinu Gershom (c. 960-1040), known as the “Light of the Exile” (Meor HaGolah), who taught in Mainz, took two measures that changed the lives of Ashkenazic couples: the prohibition of polygamy and the prohibition of divorcing a wife against her will. The Rema records it thus:

“All this is according to the strict law; but Rabbeinu Gershom placed a ban (cherem) on divorcing a woman without her consent, unless she has transgressed the religion (dat).”

(Rema on Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 119:6) — וכל זה מדינא אבל ר”ג החרים שלא לגרש אשה שלא מדעתה אם לא שעברה על דת

Regarding the second prohibition, that of polygamy, the Shulchan Aruch specifies that the decree did not spread to all countries and that Rabbeinu Gershom is said to have pronounced it only until the end of the fifth millennium of the Hebrew calendar (the year 1240 CE); the Rema responds, however, that in Ashkenazic countries, the decree and the custom remain in force (Even HaEzer 1:10). Today, Ashkenazic communities, and several Sephardic and Eastern communities, do not give a get to a wife who does not consent. In Israel, state law has consolidated this rule: bigamy is a criminal offense there (see the ruling in Yosifof v. Attorney General, 1951).

What if it is the wife who refuses a get that the husband is entitled to give her? Regarding the prohibition of polygamy, the Shulchan Aruch mentions a lenient position: “When the law requires him to divorce her and she refuses to receive the get from him, there is room to be lenient and permit him to marry another” (Even HaEzer 1:10). In this spirit, authorities established the exceptional procedure of the heter me’ah rabbanim (“permission of one hundred rabbis”), which requires the approval of at least one hundred scholars from several countries and remains reserved for serious situations, on the decision of a court; we do not detail it here.

When a spouse refuses: compulsion, agunot, mamzerut

The court can oblige the husband to divorce

The principle of will (“the husband divorces only of his own free will”) might seem to leave the man with a right of veto. This is not the case in the situations where the law requires him to divorce. The Mishna formulates the principle by a parallel: for a voluntary offering that someone must bring, the court compels him until he says “I want to”; and the same goes for bills of divorce:

“And so you say of women’s bills of divorce: he is compelled until he says: I want to.”

(Mishna Arachin 5:6) — וְכֵן אַתָּה אוֹמֵר בְּגִטֵּי נָשִׁים, כּוֹפִין אוֹתוֹ עַד שֶׁיֹּאמַר, רוֹצֶה אָנִי

What are these cases? The Mishna cites the husband afflicted with a weeping skin disease or a nasal polyp, or one who practices a trade with an unbearable smell (tanning, copper smelting): the court compels him to divorce (Mishna Ketubot 7:10). The Shulchan Aruch takes up this list (Even HaEzer 154:1) and adds others: ten years of marriage without children (154:10), or the husband who married a woman in violation of a prohibition (154:20).

The question remains: how can one speak of “will” when there has been compulsion? Rambam explains: one who refuses to divorce when the law obliges him to is not truly “compelled”; he is forcing himself, by his evil inclination. Since in the depths of his being he wants to belong to Israel and to fulfill all the mitzvot, the court, by pressing him, helps him overcome his inclination, and he can then sincerely say “I want to” (Hilchot Gerushin 2:20). The same rule adds a formidable limit: if the law did not authorize compulsion and the court made a mistake, or if it was mere private individuals, or if non-Jews compelled the husband on their own initiative, the get is invalid (ibid.). This is why rabbinic courts are very cautious. As for lashes, the Shulchan Aruch presents two opinions; the Rema, who fears the annulment of a “forced get,” advises against physical compulsion when the opinion is not unanimous and in favor of social sanctions (Even HaEzer 154:21).

The agunot

The word aguna (עגונה) evokes the verse in Ruth: “Would you remain for them unmarried?” (te’agenah, “would you be held back,” Ruth 1:13). The aguna is the woman chained to a marriage that exists only in law: a missing husband (war, shipwreck), or a husband who refuses the get (mesarev get). In the first case, the Mishna itself provided for relaxations: Rabbi Akiva reports a tradition of Rabban Gamliel the Elder, according to which a woman is permitted to remarry on the testimony of a single witness:

“(I received from Rabban Gamliel the Elder) that a woman is allowed to remarry on the testimony of a single witness.”

(Mishna Yevamot 16:7) — שֶׁמַּשִּׂיאִין אֶת הָאִשָּׁה עַל פִּי עֵד אֶחָד

In the second case, the rabbis agree neither on the means nor on their scope. Recourse is had to social pressure and to agreements made before the marriage; in Israel, a 1995 law allows the court to take measures against the recalcitrant party (restrictions on leaving the country, revocation of the driver’s license, limits on bank accounts, detention). Consult a rabbi at the first signs of a deadlock.

Why a missing get has such consequences: the mamzer

If the woman remarries without a valid get, she remained married to her first husband: the second marriage is a forbidden, adulterous union, and its children are mamzerim. The Torah says:

“No mamzer shall enter the assembly of Hashem; even his tenth generation shall not enter the assembly of Hashem.”

(Devarim 23:3) — לֹא־יָבֹא מַמְזֵר בִּקְהַל ה׳ גַּם דּוֹר עֲשִׂירִי לֹא־יָבֹא לוֹ בִּקְהַל ה׳

The Mishna defines the mamzer as the child born of a union for which one incurs karet (excision) (Mishna Yevamot 4:13); Rambam specifies that these are forbidden unions (arayot), with the exception of the niddah (Hilchot Issurei Biah 15:1). This status, very heavy for innocent children, explains the meticulousness of the law of the get: the Sages sought to prevent a formal error from producing a mamzer (Mishna Gittin 9:4). The children of a couple properly divorced are of course not concerned.

Aggadah and spiritual reading

Let us distinguish the law from the reading. Around the couple, the Talmud develops a literature of images in which divorce has a painful place. The image of the altar in tears (Gittin 90b), already cited, is part of it. Rabbi Akiva, for his part, teaches about the Hebrew words for “man” (ish) and “woman” (ishah):

“A man and a woman, if they are worthy, the Divine Presence (Shechinah) is between them; if they are not worthy, a fire consumes them.”

(Sotah 17a) — אִישׁ וְאִשָּׁה זָכוּ — שְׁכִינָה בֵּינֵיהֶן. לֹא זָכוּ — אֵשׁ אוֹכַלְתָּן

The play on letters is classic: ish contains a yod, ishah a heh, and these two letters form a Divine Name (Yah); when they are present, the Shechinah rests on the couple; when they withdraw, what remains is fire (esh, aleph-shin). Another page states that it is as difficult to match a couple as to split the Red Sea (Sotah 2a).

Kabbalah and Chassidism have extended these images by speaking of twin souls and their reunion. These approaches are spiritual readings; they never enter into halachic decision-making, where the criterion remains that of law, proof and accountability before the court.

A little history and archaeology

The oldest documents outside the Bible point in the same direction as tradition. At Elephantine, a Jewish military colony in Egypt in the fifth century BCE, the marriage contracts of Mibtachiah (around 440) and of Yehoyishma (around 420) provide that either spouse may declare divorce “in the assembly,” with financial consequences for the one who initiates it. Divorce is thus open to both there, which differs from the law of the Sages (Pritchard, Ancient Near Eastern Texts; Porten and Yardeni, Textbook of Aramaic Documents from Ancient Egypt).

In the Judean Desert, a bill of divorce from the first-second century CE (Wadi Murabba’at, Mur 19, dated to “year six,” 71-72 or 111 depending on the interpretation) shows a get very close to that of the Mishna: “I divorce and send away of my own free will today, I, Yosef, son of Naqsan, (…) you, my wife Miriam, daughter of Yonatan,” with the right for her to marry any Jewish man (Fitzmyer and Harrington, A Manual of Palestinian Aramaic Texts, Rome, 1978; Shamma Friedman, “The Jewish Bill of Divorce — From Masada Onwards”). One recognizes in it the Talmudic formula (Mishna Gittin 9:3).

In the Middle Ages, it is in Mainz that Rabbeinu Gershom issues his decrees (around the year 1000). In the twentieth century, the jurisdiction of rabbinic courts was written into the law of the State of Israel (1953), followed by civil sanctions against recalcitrant husbands (1995).

What Rav Raphaël Benizri teaches

Rav Benizri has not devoted a lecture to the get; only one of his published lectures touches on it, and we report what he says without adding anything. In his lecture on the book of Eichah (Tisha B’Av), he notes that the text says ke’almanah, “like a widow,” and not “a widow”: the husband has gone very far away, without leaving an address, but she cannot rebuild her life, and he will return. At no point, he says, can the Jewish people be abandoned, and G-d moreover says through His prophet that He will never give a bill of divorce. For a divorced woman, there has been a rupture, whereas the widow never stops mourning her husband. The image of the get that G-d will not give ties in with Yeshayahu 50:1 (a connection made by the editors). See the lecture: Tisha B’Av: the book of Eichah.

Common misconceptions about the get

“The husband can divorce his wife whenever he wants.” According to the letter of the Torah’s law, he can divorce only of his own free will, and the divorce remains possible without the wife’s consent (Rambam, Hilchot Gerushin 1:2). But since Rabbeinu Gershom, Ashkenazic practice, and that of many Sephardic communities, requires the wife’s agreement, and the Talmud recalls that the altar weeps over one who divorces his first wife (Gittin 90b).

“A civil divorce is enough.” No: for halachah, a get delivered according to the rules is required. The civil court and the rabbinic court pursue different goals.

“Only the husband can act.” Although biblical law makes the husband the one who gives the get, the wife can apply to a rabbinic court, which compels the husband in the cases provided for (Mishna Ketubot 7:10).

“The children of a divorced couple are mamzerim.” False. The mamzer is the child of a forbidden union. The children of parents divorced according to the law, or of a woman who remarried after a valid get, are fully Jewish and without any restriction.

“A divorced woman can never remarry.” False: the Torah permits her to (Devarim 24:2). There are only two restrictions: she may not return to her first husband if she married another in the meantime (Devarim 24:4), and she may not marry a kohen (Vayikra 21:7).

Frequently asked questions about the get

Is a get required after a civil divorce?

Yes, if the marriage was concluded according to Jewish law. Without a get, the wife remains married in the eyes of halachah, and a remarriage could give rise to mamzer status for the children of the second couple (Hilchot Issurei Biah 15:1). One therefore requests the get at the same time as the civil divorce, from a beit din.

Must both spouses be present?

Not necessarily: each may appoint an agent to give or to receive the get (Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 141:1; Mishna Gittin 1:1).

How long must one wait to remarry?

The woman must wait three months (90 days) after the get (Mishna Yevamot 4:10; Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 13:1). For the man, halachah provides no equivalent waiting period; consult a rabbi about particular cases, notably regarding polygamy, which is forbidden to Ashkenazim (Rema, Even HaEzer 1:10).

Who writes the get?

A specialized scribe, the sofer, whose training is the same as that which also enables one to write a Sefer Torah, tefillin or a mezuzah; he acts at the husband’s request and in the presence of the court (Even HaEzer 120:1 and 120:4). See How is a Sefer Torah written? The craft of the sofer.

How Does Jewish Divorce (Get) Work?